Unique' Year
by Penny Clearwater
Summary: Now that ff likes me..this is first of 3 so far chapters i wrote it as a challenge from my friend emily
1. Default Chapter

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I only own Emily, and Christina. I do not own any of the other characters they are J.K. Rowling's.  
  
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The Great Hall was filled with the noise as the students all chatted about their summers. Emily, Christina, Lily, James, Peter, Sirius, and Remus sat at the Gryffindor table together discussing their plans for their sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. During the "interesting" story of how James and Lily had spent their summer at some magically beach or something like that Christina pecked Remus, her boyfriend, upon the shoulder and pointed up at the teachers table. As Remus looked to see what it was his mouth opened wide horror struck. The others wondering what they were so interested in all turned to see Professor Snape. This wouldn't be so odd had it not been for his clothing. He was wearing a robe that had been cut as short as a muggle mini skirt and showed almost all of his hairy legs, and had the top of it cut like a halter-top. It was most likely 3 sizes to small because it was skin tight on him. Dumbledore smiled widely as Snape took his seat and he stood to welcome the students. "Welcome students to yet another year at Hogwarts!" The whole room exploded with applause. Dumbledore silenced them after a few moments. They continued on with the sorting of the first years, during which, six were added to the number of students at the Gryffindor table, the school song, and lastly the rules and regulations. "Now that all of that's out of the way, let the feast begin!" As Dumbledore said this, the plates were filled with wonderful food. Everyone ate as much as they could and went back to their earlier conversation. "Well, yet another year to cause trouble and make mayhem, eh?" Emily had just finished off her pumpkin juice as she said this. Christina, looking as innocent as she could replied, "Trouble? Mayhem? US? I think you've confused us with some other people because we are as innocent as can be aren't we?" Everyone laughed. Peter smirked and said, "You are such a dumb ass Christina. Of course she's got the right people!" All eyes were on Peter. It was Lily this time that spoke up. "No Peter, you're a dumb fuck. She was being sarcastic." As she finished the sentence her, Emily, and Christina simultaneously knocked him upside the head. While Peter sat there mumbling and holding his head a girl got up from the Slytherin table and made her way to the eight of them. "Hello Peter. Being beat up by these disrespectful females? Oh! Hi Lily. I missed you over the summer. You'll have to tell me all about it if we still have double potions together!" "Sure I can't wait!" Peter looked up, "Sorry to interrupt, but, aren't you MY girlfriend over here to see ME? Not my best friend's girlfriend?" Smiling sheepishly the girl sat down at an empty seat in between the two of them. "Narcissus, nice to see you," Christina said from across the table stopping Emily from flipping some left over mashed potatoes at her. "The same to you. I see you haven't changed much. Neither has your friend here, Emily is it? I still say she's just jealous of me." Christina had to bind Emily to her chair to keep her from ripping Narcissus limb from limb.  
  
The feast continued for an hour or so more then the students were dismissed to their houses. In the hall the four girls stopped to talk. Everyone except Peter and James knew about the secret affections of Lily and Narcissus, and this was their topic of choice at the moment. The two girls looked at each other so passionately and almost kissed more than once but never did. Christina and Emily both got the idea at the same time and started to sing softly as music started playing in background. "There you see her sitting there across the way. She don't got a lot to say but there's something about her. And you don't know why but your dying to try, you want to kiss her. Yes you want her look at her you know you do. Possible she wants you too there is one way to ask her. It don't take a word not a single word go on and kiss the girl. Sha la la la la la, my oh my. Look at the girl so shy ain't gonna kiss the girl. Sha la la la la la ain't that said? Ain't it a shame? She's gonna miss the girl." As the music continues they appear out at the lake, Lily and Narcissus in a boat Christina and Emily on the bank. Remus and Sirius's heads pop up out of the water. Sirius starts spouting water like the frogs in the move "The Little Mermaid". Moaning Myrtle and Peeves float out of the water and slowly twirl the boat. The girls on the bank start singing again. "Now's your moment, floating in a blue lagoon. Boy you better do it soon no time will be better. She don't say a word and she won't say a word until you kiss the girl." The two bobbing heads starting singing, Remus is singing through his nose very irritatingly, "Sha la la la la la, don't be scared, you've got the mood prepared go on and kiss the girl. Sha la la la la la, don't stop now. Don't try to hide it how you want to kiss the girl. Sha la la la la la, float along, and listen to the song. The song say kiss the girl. Sha la la la la la, the music play, do what the music say, go on and kiss the girl." As they fade off the boat spins faster and faster as Peeves tosses Myrtle off and controls the boat. "PEEVES STOP!" Christina says in a loud whisper. But she is all too late as they start to kiss Lily goes flying out of the boat into the water. The heads disappear and so do the girls on the bank along with Myrtle leaving Peeves there to take the blame. 


	2. Remus...The Snow/Shrubbery Files

The next day Remus and Sirius came knocking on the girl's dorm room and Christina got up and opened the door. As she did she gave Remus this horrible look and smiled kindly at Sirius. Emily did quit the opposite from her place on her bed working on some potion's homework. Christina sat back down on her own bed and stretched out taking up the whole bed when Remus started to sit down. Emily kicked Sirius in the leg as he tried to sit with her. "OW! What the hell was that for?!?!" "You should know. Spitting water in the air last night? That was so stupid and rude!" Emily looked flustered as she replied. Christina smiled, "I thought it was very funny." "You would you bitch," Emily glared at Christina when she said this. Christina ignored her and turned to Remus, "And you, singing through your nose! That was truly rude and stupid!" "No Christina, THAT was funny," Emily smiled. Remus timidly chimed in, "Actually it was all pretty funny." "Dude Remus, that might not have been the best thing to say right at this moment," Sirius said as he sat down beside Christina who moved for him. Remus went to sit with Emily but she gave him very little space, still more than Christina had. "Remus, its over. I'm moving on in my life." Emily looked at Sirius as Christina finished, "Same thing goes for you mister." Sirius didn't look to shocked and after a few seconds neither did Remus. "Ok, Christina will you go out with me?" "Of course Sirius!" "Um, Emily? Will you go out with me?" Remus looked at her shyly as she thought and answered, "I'm not sure give me some time to think."  
  
After a few hours of sitting there talking they left for dinner in the Great Hall meeting everyone else in the common room. They continued walking and chatting, Christina and Sirius hand in hand, as Lily looked for Narcissus doing her best not to make James and Peter suspicious. Not finding her she gave up and joined their conversation. They sat down at the Gryffindor table and ate. After finishing James and Remus went outside and everyone else went to the library. Narcissus was up there and blushed as they walked in.  
  
"Hello," she said quietly. Lily was now also blushing as she got out a small, "Hey." Everyone else just grinned. They did the research they had come to do and decided since James and Remus weren't back yet they should go see what they were up to. They set off for the Whomping Willow suspecting a secret trip to Hogsmead. Approaching the tree they saw Remus's white butt sticking out of a bush. They heard strange moans coming from him also. Emily walked over taping him on the shoulder. As he turned around Peter being kindly stupid said, "It snowed! Yes!" Lily leaned over and whispered to him, "Dude, that isn't snow." His eyes widened as Remus searched for an excuse for his behavior. "I.I.I only did it because Emily wouldn't go out with me and let me loss my virginity to her!" He quickly covered his mouth as these words came out. Emily and Christina looked at each other and burst out, "Like a virgin!" Sirius took it from there, "I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through, didn't know how lost I was  
  
Until I found you. I was beat incomplete, I'd been had, I was sad and blue, but you made me feel, yeah, you made me feel, shiny and new." While he was singing they heard James over at the Whomping Willow, "Spank me! Spank me!" Peter looked over at him and without a second chance ran over, "I'll spank you! I'll spank you!" They ran around in circles chasing each other trying to spank some ass. "Like a virgin, touched for the very, first time, like a virgin, when your heart beats, next to mine." As he was still singing Emily and Remus made up and started off towards the forbidden forest. Lily and Narcissus were sneaking back to the castle. Christina decided she didn't want to see that so she follow Emily and Remus. She snuck up behind them and whispered in his ear, "Hi dick head." He jumped into the air as Emily turned around. "He's got a bigger dick than your guy over there!" Sirius heard this and stopped singing, "I saw his dick and it ain't no fucking bigger than mine!" Christina happened to look over during the fighting seeing that Peter and James weren't there. "Guys, stop fighting. Look. Peter and James snuck off to." Everyone stopped fighting and looked. "Your right," Sirius said giving her a kiss. Emily almost gagged, "I guess we should just go back to the castle then." They set off for the castle together as it was slowly becoming night. 


	3. James, Remus, and Snape...The Dog and Mo...

They reached the castle and headed for Gryffindor Tower. Upon entering the common room they ran into Lily and Narcissus their hair was terribly messed up but no one really cared. They decided to go to the boy's dorm room to look and see if they could find any sign of life. When they walked in Sirius looked at his bed curiously. It had a large hump on it. He walked over to investigate further. As he pulled the covers up he revealed James and Peter. James was on his hands and knees and Peter was behind him sitting up on knees fucking him up the ass. Sirius couldn't help it and commented, "Who let the dogs out?" Everyone else but him Christina and Emily cracked up laughing. The two girls look at each other and start singing, "Who let the dogs out {woof, woof, woof, woof} {woof, woof, woof, woof} {woof, woof, woof, woof} {woof, woof, woof, woof} who let the dogs out {woof, woof, woof, woof} who let the dogs out {woof, woof, woof, woof}" By this time James and Peter had gotten off of Sirius's bed and wrapped them selves in blankets. Lily and Narcissus were rolling in the floor laughing while Emily. Christina, Sirius and Remus leaned on each other doing their best to calm down. The two "dogs" frantically tried to find an excuse but Lily took over, "James, you and Peter can have your little relationship if you will let me and my dear Narcissus here have ours. Is it a deal?" After the shock wore off they nodded in agreement. "Good," Narcissus kissed Lily after she said this and they disappeared hand in hand. Sirius suggested that they leave James and Peter to themselves so they all went to the common room. Remus had to do some work in the library and Sirius thought he might go dispose of the shrubbery that had been "snowed" on. Emily and Christina were left alone to find something to do. It was Christina who got the idea. They planned it perfect and snuck out of the castle under James' invisibility cloak. They went under the whomping willow into Hogsmead. When they arrived the uncovered themselves. "Ok. Do you see the pet store? Oh! There it is," Emily, said as she took off running for it. Christina followed. As the two girls walked in they saw what they were looking for. Four monkeys sat in the corner. Christina went up and purchased them. After charming them to be exotic dancing monkeys, they snuck back onto the castle grounds and up into the Astronomy tower. After putting the monkeys in there they got under the invisibility cloak and waited. Snape magically received a notice saying they needed him in the Astronomy tower. He went quickly and climbed the latter. Upon reaching the top he stopped in his tracks. The monkeys began enticing him the moment he saw them. He walked, almost floated, to them drooling. He watched them as one crawled onto his lap. Still under the cloak the girls snuck over behind him. "Oh Snape! Fuck me! Hard! Please!" Christina said, as they got close. Snape not knowing they were there thought it was the monkey. He quickly striped as the girls turned around, "Oh God! No. Ew." They heard the monkey screeching behind them. About that time Professor Trelingway appeared at the top of the ladder. She looked horror struck as she saw Snape. He didn't care if she was there. "Snape. Hun. This isn't normal," she said as he continued ignoring her. The two girls snuck back down to the common room. As they entered they burst out laughing. The other six friends were all inside now and came running down to see what was so funny. After they explained the whole story to them they all sat there laughing. "So Snape is up there skrewing a monkey?" "How gross! I always new he was a pervert! "Yeah right! This is so funny!" You could here their laughter all over.  
  
Everything worked out. Lily and Narcissus, James and Peter, Emily and Remus, Christina and Sirius, and Snape and the monkey. As for Trelingway? She went into rehab and quickly recovered. She is now back teaching at the school. 


End file.
